Just Another: Weekend Away from the Office
by LadyRaider
Summary: 2nd in the Just Another: series. Title pretty much says it all. Just Another: Day at the Office should be read before reading this one.
1. And the weekend begins

Disclaimer: Haven't you asked this before?!? NO, I DON'T OWN THEM! Would you please stop bugging me about it!   
  
JUST ANOTHER: WEEKEND AWAY FROM THE OFFICE  
  
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"Agent Hopkins! Agent Kingsley!" Skinner's voice boomed.  
  
Scully snickered, looks like the two were finally caught. It was only a matter of time. I mean, don't they have cameras in them?   
  
"Yes…yes, sir." She heard Hopkins say, his voice cracking. He knew he was in trouble.  
  
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? That is government property you are corrupting!" He sighed, "but, it is the weekend, and I can not deal with this! Now, pull up your pants and your carebear boxers and get out of my sight!"  
  
Scully stifled a laugh as she heard the zipping of a zipper and then heavy footfall running away from the close proximity of Skinner's voice. She calmed herself down and opened the door of the stairs, where she came face to face with a very red Skinner.  
  
"Good afternoon, sir. Has anybody ever told you that red is your color?"  
  
He beamed, "many times before, Agent."   
  
"It brings out the shine of your head. It becomes you, sir."  
  
"Thank you, Agent. Have a nice weekend."  
  
"Of course, sir."  
  
"Oh, Agent."  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"I've recently received information about Agents Fowley and Spender, had you heard anything about a relationship between them that was more than just…platonic?"  
  
"Well, sir. I have seen the pictures."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Who knew Spender had it in him, eh? It's sad he had to stoop down so low as to being involved with somebody like Fowley, but then again, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it, sir?"  
  
"You think there's something between the smoking man and Fowley."  
  
"I've got 35 dollars in the office pool that says I do. We all know she's been in cahoots with him for some time now, why do you think he hasn't killed her yet, her looks? Ha, that's a joke if I've ever heard one. Oh yeah, he's been screwing her. That's for sure."  
  
Skinner thought this over for a second, then shuddered. "That brings a worse mental picture than what I just witnessed in the elevator."  
  
"Agents Hopkins and Kingsley? Yeah, the two are an unattractive couple, unlikely one, too. I mean, Hopkins is very short and wimpy, he's not much to look at. Hard to imagine what Kingsley see's in him, but then again, Kingsley isn't a very smart man when it comes to matters of the heart, you know, I think he and Krycheck had something going on for a while there, he was devastated when Krycheck left for the syndicate. I didn't think he'd ever get over him. It was so sad watching him mope around, devastating."  
  
Skinner grimaced, "well, thank you for that, Scully. I'll try not to think about those images while I sleep tonight."  
  
"Sorry, sir. Guess I just got lost in my train of thought."  
  
"Do you know what Mulder has planed for the weekend?"  
  
"Nope, he didn't tell me. I bet he'll be on that damned game the whole weekend long. Ever since I stole…er…bought him that new laptop he's not been off it. It's all fine and dandy if you ask me, as long as I don't have to go to some damn ghost town and search for aliens and all the social outcast of the world."  
  
"I've been wondering why he hasn't asked for an assignment, now, which game is that?"  
  
"Oh, 'The Sims', sir."  
  
"Ah, I've got that game. Very time consuming."  
  
"Yes it is, sir."  
  
Skinner looked at his watch, "well goodbye, Agent. And, make sure Mulder gets out of the office for at least a few hours of the weekend, and that's an order."  
  
"Yessir."  
  
Skinner turned to walk down the hall and in turn walked straight into Agent Hopkins, who blushed furiously.   
  
"Er, sorry, Sir."  
  
"HOPKINS! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT." The redness in his bald head was starting to return.  
  
"Wow, sir. Red is really your color." Hopkins told him.  
  
Skinner started to thank him for the compliment before he realized that Hopkins was gay, and no longer looking at his face but another part of his anatomy.   
  
"It's really, really your color." Hopkins said, staring downwards.  
  
"EW! EW! EW!" Skinner screamed (very girlishly) as he ran down the halls and away from Hopkins as fast as he could.  
  
Hopkins blew on his nails then rubbed them against his shirt (in victory). "Well, that was a whole hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be." He noticed Scully standing a few feet away laughing her ass of. "Oh, Scully. Have you seen my bitch…eh…I mean, Agent Kingsley in the last 10 minutes?"  
  
She shook her head through her laughter, but couldn't manage a "no".   
  
"Damn, there goes my weekend." Hopkins muttered, "I'll have to go find Robertson."  
  
'Robertson?' Scully thought. 'Damn, how many guys in this damn building are gay?'  
  
"20." Hopkins said.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Not counting myself of course, so that'd be 21. But, out of the 20 others, only 5 are good in bed. And trust me, I know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"There are 20 other guys in this building that are gay."  
  
"I didn't ask how many there were."  
  
"But, you were thinking it, weren't you? And before you ask, no, I can't read minds. It's just most of the women in the building wonder about that whenever I mention one of my many lovers. Kingsley and I don't have a steady relationship. We just like to screw in the elevators. To bad that can't happen here anymore. We could always go to another building, I guess. Anyway, you were thinking about it, no?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess I was."  
  
"See. Now, about Robertson?"  
  
"I think he's still in his office."  
  
A smile appeared on Hopkins' face. "Perfect." He said while rubbing his hands together, then he ran off down the hallway.   
  
Scully started to laugh again. She was still laughing when she reached the basement (after walking down all four flights, don't ask why she was on the fourth floor to leave, not even she knew). Mulder looked up from his game at his very red partner.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
She calmed, "Mulder, did you know that there are 21 homosexual males in this building? I wonder if I've ever asked one of them out…"  
  
Mulder's eyebrows raised.  
  
"I mean, metaphorically. It's not like I've ever asked any of the men in this building out." She spat out quickly, hoping to fix her mistake.  
  
'Damn it, he's not supposed to know I've got a life!! If Dana was here I wouldn't have said that.' She sniffled thinking of Dana.  
  
"Well, I knew about Hopkins, Kingsley, Robertson, and Turner." He shuddered, "they invited me to a slumber party once, thankfully, I was busy that night with Agent Daniels." He thought about what he said, "oh, not that Agent Daniels and I have dated or anything…she, ah, needed help fixing her shirt…the buttons…er…fell off?"  
  
Scully blinked, "ok, Mulder."   
  
Mulder blinked, "you believe me?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
  
A smile spread across his face, "oh. No reason, of course. What was it you wanted?"  
  
"Skinner ordered me to take you out, get you away from the office for a little bit. So, grab your coat. We're going to get dinner."  
  
"Scculllyyy, I'm not done with my game yet."  
  
"You don't get done with that game, Mulder. It goes on forever. Now save the damned thing, I want Chinese!!" She yelled.  
  
"Alright, alright. PMS much?"  
  
"Actually, no. I'm just bitchy by nature."  
  
"That's for sure." He mumbled as he saved his game.  
  
"What did you just say?"   
  
"Huh?" Mulder said, 'that's right, Mulder' he thought, 'feign innocence.'  
  
"Huh?" Scully was confused again, what had she been talking with Mulder about? She was a bit scatter-brained.   
  
"What?" Mulder said in frustration. He was trying to save his game!  
  
"Damn it, Mulder! Just get off the damn computer!"  
  
"You didn't say, 'what?', Scully, you've got to say what!"  
  
"Fine, 'what?', there you happy now?"  
  
Mulder smiled, "yes. Very." His game was saved and he shut down the computer. "Now, about that food."  
  
"You're paying."  
  
"Damn."  
  
a/n: ok, so I know it's not as funny as the other one was, but, bare with me, it'll get better as I go along. Anywho, review! 


	2. Friday Night

Just Another: Weekend Away from the Office   
  
Chapter 2  
  
Thank you to my reviewers!

PixieDustBunny: here's the next chapter you couldn't wait for. I hope you like it. Thanks for the review.

BeeKay84: Yea! That makes me so happy that you put me on your fav. authors list! Same with the fav. stories list, too! I'm glad you like my strange stories, I tell you I really don't know where they're coming from. Lol.

LVB: A Good sense of humor is very important. I'm glad you have one. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you find it funny. 

* * *

After dinner they decided to split up and go their separate ways, Scully went back to her apartment and Mulder went back to the Hoover Building seeing as that's where his game was.   
  
He rode down the elevator in silence, the smell was finally gone, seeing as the minute Skinner came across Kingsley and Hopkins he sent the janitor to clean the whole thing, three times. Yep, it smelled lemon-fresh now. Mulder smiled.  
  
Across town Scully was entering her apartment, quite tired from working that day. She noticed her answering machine blinking and pressed the message button, Diana Fowley's voice filled the air.  
  
"I'm on to you, Scully. I know you're the one who stole my computer and sent those pictures to Skinner! I…Spender Sr. stop! I'm on the phone. Anyway, I'm going to get you for this Scully! Just you wait and s…what did I say about getting off! I'm holding out on you now! No more lays for a month!" She then hung up the phone, Scully snickered.   
  
"I'm going to be rich." She said to her phone, Tele.   
  
Tele responded with her next message. From Agent Kingsley.  
  
"Agent Scully? Have you seen Agent Hopkins? I can't find him anywhere, Agent Young said that she saw the two of you talking in the hallway just after 5. Now, don't worry, I'm not accusing you of having a relationship with my Stevie…I was just wondering if you knew where he had gone to. I'll be waiting up for your call. My number is (123)555-3245."   
  
Scully snickered yet again. Tele told her that there were no more messages. She picked up the phone and dialed the number Kingsley had given her.  
  
"Hello?" Came the gruff voice of Kingsley.  
  
"Hi, Agent Kingsley. This is Agent Scully."  
  
"Scully! I've been waiting for you to call. Do you know where my Stevie is?"  
  
Scully stiffled a laugh, "the last time I saw him, Kingsley, he was headed for Agent Robertson's office."  
  
"Robertson! That stupid bitch I told her to stay away from my men. She'll pay for this. Oh, yes. Agent Ken Robertson has it coming. She had better watch her back!" He hung up the phone.  
  
Scully let out a whooping laugh and dialed Mulder's cell phone number. He picked up on the 2nd ring.  
  
"What do you want, Scully! I'm in the middle of seducing you!" He yelled out.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"Huh?" Mulder said feigning innocence and mentally cursing himself for letting that slip.  
  
She shook her head, "never mind, Mulder. I called to ask a favor. Could you go up to Agent Robertson's office, it's on the 3rd floor. Knock on the door, but don't enter until he says it's all right. Don't ask questions, just trust me on this one. You don't want to see what goes on behind that closed door. When he does answer the door ask to talk with Agent Hopkins, and then tell Hopkins that Kingsley has called me looking for him, and uh, I kind of let the cat out of the bag. You think you could do that for me?"  
  
"As soon as I get you into bed." He muttered.  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"I didn't say anything! Jeeze, Scully. I think you need to get your hearing checked, or go back to that psychologist of yours. You're hearing things again!"  
  
"I wasn't hearing things before! That was Dana! It's not my fault she killed herself. And, I'm not hearing things. I distinctively heard you say that you were trying to seduce me, and then that you were trying to get me into bed! Now, what the hell are you doing to the 'Sim' version of me!"  
  
"I did not say those things Scully!"  
  
"Yes, yes you did! I heard you. And how do you know about Dr. Rach?!?"  
  
"One would think that after you've worked with me for so long you'd know to password protect your palm-pilot."  
  
"You went into my palm-pilot?"  
  
"Did I say that?"  
  
"Don't feign innocence with me, Mulder!"  
  
"I would never!" He said taken aback.  
  
"Mulder, you're doing it now. You know what, I don't have the time for this! Just go to Robertson's office. And, make sure not to go in until he says so. Ok?"  
  
"Ok, Scully. If it's that important. Just let me get laid first, will you!"  
  
"If you really wanted to get laid that bad, all you had to do was ask, Mulder!"  
  
"Really? Cool. Can I come over."  
  
"Not anymore, you're being an ass."  
  
"Scuulllyy! Please."  
  
"Don't beg, it's not attractive. Now, go to Robertson's office before I have to come down there and kick your ass!"  
  
"Is that a promise?"  
  
"UGH!" She hung up the phone and looked at Tele. "I give him 2 minutes before he calls back."  
  
She responded with a ring. Scully picked the phone up, "Scully here."  
  
"Can I please come over! I haven't got laid in…well, a long time. Please."  
  
"NO! Now go to the damn office alright. I'll see you tomorrow, we're going shopping."  
  
"Really? Shopping? I love shopping. Where we going?"  
  
"I don't know. Goodbye, Mulder."  
  
"Alright, but, can I get laid tomorrow?"  
  
"We'll see."  
  
"Woo-hoo!" He hung up the phone and Scully rolled her eyes.  
  
"Men." She said to Tele.   
  
Tele didn't answer her. Scully gave up conversing and went to bed.


	3. Saturday morning

Thank you to those who have reviewed, and for those who have yet to review, what's wrong with you?!?  
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DDstalker: I have no clue where I come up with this stuff at, product of an insane mind, I assume. And, no, not based off of real life experience, glad to say. I'm glad you've got so many favorite lines! And, thank you for seeing that I am a genius, you may be the only one ;). Oh, no threats please, I'll continue to write fast! Keep the long reviews coming, I really don't mind! Anyway, thank you for the enthusiastic reviews. I've come to expect them from you, and I'm glad you enjoy my stories so much to write them!

BeeKay: I agree about "Tele" not being as funny as "Stapey" and "Hammey" who knows, I might bring them back, but probably not in this story because it's not set around the office, maybe in Just Another: part 3. Thanks for the review.

kersha: wow, you're teacher sounds...different to say the least. Reminds me of my French teacher, she never went as far as naming her possessions, but I think she had a very close relationship with her coffee cup, she kept the same one the whole year long, through French 1 and French 2. Thank God I passed and don't have to go back to her class! Nametags, huh? Really weird. I'm glad you find this story as funny as the last one!

Rach: Don't worry, Scully will be going back to Dr. Rach, sometime soon, maybe even Mulder, too. Wow, you're pretty short. I'm sorry, I get (jokingly) teased enough for being 5'3. But, then again, most of my friends are a good 3 inches or higher taller than I am. It sucks, but that's why God made chunk shoes and high heals.

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Just Another: Weekend Away from the Office  
  
Chapter 3  
  
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Scully woke up early the next morning and quickly got ready for her day. Her and Mulder were going shopping! While she was making her coffee Tele rang. She picked Tele up, "Scully."  
  
"Scully! Don't you ever have me go to that office again! It was horrible."  
  
"You didn't wait for him to open the door, did you?"  
  
"You never told me to!"  
  
"Yes I did! I distinctively remember saying, 'knock on the door, but don't enter until he says it's all right. Don't ask questions, just trust me on this one. You don't want to see what goes on behind that closed door' and then later on in the conversation I reminded you not to go in until Agent Robertson said it was alright or opened the door, do you not listen to me or something? I thought I warned you enough."  
  
"Oh, come on Scully. You know I don't have the attention span to listen to your babbling. Anyway, you shouldn't have trusted me to pay attention knowing that the 'Sim' version of me was trying to get the 'Sim' version of you into bed! Jeeze, you can't even let the fake me get laid. Do you have something against me getting laid, Scully?"  
  
"I thought we went over this last night, Mulder."  
  
"But, you still wouldn't let me get laid!"  
  
"Because you were being an ass, and quite frankly, you still are. But, I want to go shopping, and I need somebody to go with. And, since it's your fault I don't have a life or any female friends to go shopping with, or any of the homosexual Agents for that matter, I've got to go with you. Besides, you have really bad taste in clothing…except for that red Speedo I've heard so much talk about."  
  
"Who told you about my Speedo?"  
  
Cough. "Krycheck." Cough.  
  
"I KNEW he was checking me out!"  
  
"Who in their right mind wouldn't have? And, come on, Mulder. It's obvious Krycheck has got a thing for you. Poor Kingsley was just second best. Anyway, off that subject. We were talking about your bad taste in clothing, no? Anyway, perfect example is that hideous pink shirt you wore our first day in 'The Falls'. You know with that little sweater thing around your neck? That right there was the sole reason you didn't get any when we were in Arcadia. It made me wonder too much."  
  
"Wonder? About what?"  
  
"Weather there were 22 gay men in the Hoover Building instead of 21."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Come on, Mulder. You did look kind of fruity."  
  
"I was in character, Scully. Rob Petrie was a prep."  
  
"A fruitcake is more like it. Oh, and those names, don't get me started or we'll never get to shopping. Just, hurry and get here."  
  
"But I never got to finish saying what I called to say."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"I'm scarred for life. I'll never be able to look at Robertson and Hopkins the same way again. I really should have knocked. By the way, you'd better watch out on Monday, I wouldn't be surprised if Hopkins but a price on your head. He was really pissed off that you let Kingsley know about his and Robertson's secret rendezvous. Apparently Kingsley called him. Not that it stopped Hopkins and Robertson from…ah…oh, hell. From doing IT."  
  
Scully stifled a snicker, but she was, however, grinning. "I told you Mulder. I told you that you didn't want to see what was going on in there, but do you ever listen? No. And why is that? You're so pathetic an animated version of you can't laid."  
  
"That hurts Scully."  
  
"The truth hurts Mulder. Now get your ass over here, I want to shop!"   
  
20 minutes later there was a knock at her door and Scully quickly opened it, to her horror. "MULDER! I thought we went over this, pink shirts are a no-no!"  
  
"You only said that one! This one is different."  
  
"Pink is still not a color you should wear, Mulder! It makes you look fruity, this I told you! What's your excuse for not listening to me this time?"  
  
Mulder shrugged, "I blame it on my lack of a sex life."  
  
"Well, it's something, that's for sure. We've got to get you out of that hideous thing and into something more appropriate, like maybe something tight and black. Those shirts always look good on you. Go home and change into a tight black shirt, and then come back. After you look heterosexual we can shop!"  
  
Mulder jumped up and down, "Yea, shopping!"  
  
Scully shook her head and sighed, "You know Mulder, if you weren't always chasing tail I'd think you were gay."  
  
"I am not gay!"  
  
"Mulder! Were you listening to what I said, I said that I'd THINK you were gay if you didn't chase so much tail. But, thinking and actually knowing are different things, aren't they Mulder?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Good, now go change! And don't come back until you're wearing something tight! Then maybe you'll get laid."  
  
Mulder continued to jump up and down, "yippee! I'm gonna get laid, I'm gonna get laid."  
  
"SHUT-UP!"  
  
Mulder immediately stopped jumping and his face grew somber, "yes, Scully. I'm going to change, I'll be back in less than an hour."  
  
"Good. Now hurry!"  
  
Mulder ran out the door and as promised returned 45 minutes later wearing a tight black shirt. Scully stared at him for awhile, drooling before Mulder yelled at her taking her out of her stupor. She wiped away the drool and they took off to go shopping.  
  
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a/n: alright, so? Tell me how I'm doing, alrighty? I love feedback. I know this one's not as good as 'Just Another: Day at the Office' but, I'm trying. Anyway, the next chapter is them shopping. And, maybe Mulder will get laid. Who knows? I don't. The next chapter isn't written yet. Send suggestions, I might use one! They'll be appreciated.


	4. Saturday cont

Disclaimer: Alright, you got me. I don't own the X-files. So what? Lets make a list here of what I do own, Stapey, Hammey, Tele, Agent Kingsley, Agent Hopkins, Agent Robertson, Dr. Rach, and the list just goes on. So, I'd say I'm doing pretty damn good for myself, even if I'm not getting any money for this. So there. Leave me the hell alone already.  
  
--0--0--0--0--0--  
  
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!

Tea in the Sahara: just wonderin'...what does 'dot dot dot' mean? Thanks for the review, i'm glad you find my story amusing.

BeeKay84: one of my ever faithful reviewers! I think you've reviewed every chapter of this story and all of Just Another: Day at the Office, as well! Thanks! Yea! More people recognize that I am a genuis! you're too kind! Thank you so much!

LVB: No! Tele is mine, all mine! no one can have her! :ahem: anyway, glad you love it!

Rach: :Bows to the claps: Thank you, thank you very much! Another one of my always faithful reviewers. Thanks! Sorry 'bout the teasing. I know how you feel, but, it's all fun and games, plus, I (hopefully) will grow more, but, from how tall my mom is it's not that promising! Dr. Rach will be coming up again soon.  
  
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Scully dragged Mulder into the first shop and they immediately began searching for clothes to make him more manly, or rather less fruity. Scully missed Dana, she would have been a big help in this situation, she was always wonderful when it came to fashion, although Scully thought that she did a damn good job on her own. But, it was always nice to have a second opinion.  
  
Scully caught Mulder looking at a purple shirt and panicked. "No! No, Mulder! Don't do it!" She yelled as she ran to him.  
  
"What? Don't do what?"  
  
"Don't even consider that shirt, Mulder! It's even more fruity than the pink one, if that's even possible. Where is your sense of fashion, man? Have you no taste?"  
  
A very obviously gay sales clerk walked over to them and looked Mulder up and down. Mulder didn't notice this but Scully did.  
  
"Don't you even think about it, fruitcake, he's straight and he's mine. Go back to your little job."  
  
The man looked at her, his jaw hanging open. "Oh no you didn't." He said snapping his fingers to match what he said.  
  
Scully raised an eyebrow, "Oh, yes I did. What are you going to do about it, girlyman?"  
  
The man called her a bitch and lunged at her but Scully was smart and stepped to the side, the man crashed into somebody that had been standing behind her, taking whoever it was down with him. Scully craned her neck to see who the unlucky victim was and to her amusement saw Diana. While Diana fought to get the very small and very gay male off of her Dana and Mulder snuck out the back door and went off to the next shop.  
  
"Guess we shouldn't have gone into a store named, The Fruity Shoppe', huh, Scully. I wonder why Diana was in there."  
  
"You know, that would explain an anonymous e-mail I got about her a little while back. And some questions I had after a game of post office at the women of the FBI' annual get together."  
  
"The women of the FBI have an annual get together?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Every July 9th. We've got a bar that sponsors it, free drinks for any woman with an FBI badge. We all get smashed and most of the time when we're high out of our minds we'll play games that we used to play when we were younger, like truth or dare."  
  
"What about spin the bottle?"  
  
"You know, some of the Agents do, but I never have. I don't normally drink or smoke that much. Now that I think of it, Diana was one of those Agents." Scully shuddered. "You know, it makes sense, she's so ugly all she can get is the Spenders and women drunk out of their minds." They continued walking until they reached another store that Scully wanted to go into. "Ooh. Come on, Mulder, you can buy me something."  
  
"Why do I have to buy it?" He whined.   
  
"Because!"  
  
"Because, why!"  
  
"Because…I said so, that's why!"  
  
"Why'd you say so?"  
  
"Because!"  
  
"Because, why?"  
  
"Mulder! Shut up! You're going to buy me something, and that's that. Don't ask questions are you'll never get laid!"  
  
He sobered and they went into the store. Scully tried on dress after dress after dress (not that Mulder was complaining, some of the dresses were quite showy, he just didn't like that Diana had followed them into the store and was staring at Scully when she came out to model her dresses). In the end she picked a dark blue satin dress that fell just past her knees and had spaghetti-straps. When they went to pay for the dress Mulder noticed Diana again, she was drooling.   
  
Mulder didn't want to pay the $230 for the dress, but figured if it helped him get laid it was worth it. The next store they went to Scully helped Mulder pick out some clothes.  
  
The store they went to after that was for women. Scully wanted to do some more shopping. The first thing that caught Mulder's eye when they walked in was a dark red tube-top. He held it up for Scully to see while wriggling his eyes suggestively.   
  
Scully didn't seem amused. "How much does it cost?" She asked merely out of curiosity.   
  
"85."  
  
"Dollars? Mulder, that shirt looks like it was made for a baby doll. Is that all you get?"  
  
He shrugged, "I guess."  
  
She shook her head and went off to look at some other clothes.  
  
And then Scully nearly got into a fight with that short salesman from The Fruity Shoppe' because he had followed them there and was trying to hit on Mulder again. But, Diana was once again there to break his fall. They made their final escape and went to get something to eat. After lunch they went to a movie and then back to Scully's apartment to order Chinese.   
  
"Hey, Scully," Mulder said when she hung up the phone with the Chinese restaurant, "who's pa--"  
  
"You."  
  
"Damn, Scully, you're really frugal."  
  
"Do you want to get laid or not?" She said deadpan.  
  
That was the end of the conversation. When the delivery boy arrived Mulder paid him and then they ate their dinner in silence. Mulder not wanting to say anything that could hurt his chances of being laid, and Scully contemplating a way of getting out of the mess she had gotten herself into.  
  
"By George I've got it!" She cried out halfway through the fried rice. She'd figured out a way to get out of screwing Mulder!  
  
"You've got what?"  
  
"Ah…um…what?"  
  
Mulder blinked, "huh?"   
  
Damn, she'd forgotten what she'd gotten! "Damn it, Mulder! You made me forget!"  
  
"Forget what!"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW! I FORGOT!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
A few minutes later the idea came back to her, "hot damn!"  
  
"What? Hot dogs? Where?"  
  
"Not hot dogs you moron. Hot damn!"  
  
"Well, what's so hot about damn?"  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Shut-up."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He took a bite of his General Tso's chicken and Scully sneeked off to formulate her plan.  
  
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a/n: alright, so her plan is reveled in the next chapter. Then there is one more after that, (don't worry Dr. Rach will make another appearance in this story!). Now, I'm thinking of making a third installment of the Just Another: series. But, I'm going to be away for the summer (I'm leaving June 10th and coming back the 13th of July or sometime close to then) and it'll have to wait until then If there's another. Anyway, let me know how this is, ya hear?


	5. The end of the weekend

a/n: alright, I know I said that there was going to be two more chapters, but, I'm pressed for time. This is going to be the last one, I'm just going to have to cram both chapters into one. Sorry. Anyway. Here it goes.  
  
Just Another: Weekend Away from the Office  
  
Chapter 5  
  
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Thank you to my reviewers!

BeeKay84: oh, well, anyway, you've reviewed everyone on this, so that makes it all ok. I forgive you. Lol. Glad you like the "because" part. loved the "gay talk"! lol. Anyway, thanks for the review!

Rach: More Dr. Rach for you! Yeah, sunshine whill definitely be where I'm going (South Carolina) lots of mugginess too. very hot. but, I don't care, i'll be at the beach! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. (i thought the Diana part was halirious, as well)

thefreakyone: this is for all 3 of your reviews. hope your "crazy ass plot" works out. Yea about the movie! (as i said in the e-mail) Tele doesn't talk, she blinks! now, here's your explination that i promised, i said it'd prob. be in the next part of Just Another:...but she was talking with Dr. Rach, and it just wrote itself. Alright, since your in charge of the craziness...good luck to you!

spender: they really kicked you off because you put her in your fic? that's so strange! I'm glad you like it enough so that you would have put me on your fav. authors list! thanks for the review!  
  
chickadee21: thank you for the review! and, i will be starting a third installment when i get back after July 4th weekend, I know it's a long time to wait, but i'll have limited internet access, and not enough time. Sorry! It'll come though, you'll just have to be patient.   
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Mulder had managed to drink enough that night to the point of passing out on Scully's couch, much to Scully annoyance. Mulder snored really loud. But, she hadn't had the need to use her plan. It was all alright with her, she really hadn't wanted Agent Hopkins and Robertson in her apartment anyway. Although, the two had seemed rather fond of her plan.   
  
So, she was on her way to another appointment with Dr. Rach. Now, she knew she'd told the doctor that there was no chance in hell she'd go back for another session, but Dr. Rach seemed to help. Who was she to argue with that?   
  
"Well, Doc, as I said that last time. It all started when I was 3 and mom and Ahab brought Charlie home from the hospital. You know, he looked suspiciously like a rat, except really red. Anyway, that's getting off subject. Bill, being the ass everybody knows he is, told me that since there was another baby in the house--"  
  
"Erm…Agent Scully, as I said last time we should really start with things that have happened recently."  
  
"Right. Ok. It all started when I was 21, my friends and I had well…gotten pretty smashed--"  
  
"How about events that have taken place since I saw you last."  
  
"Alright. It all started Friday afternoon. I was on my way home and heard Skinner yelling at Agents Hopkins and Kingsley for um…defiling the elevator…if you know what I mean."  
  
"I think I get it, and Agent Hopkins and Kingsley are…who exactly?"  
  
"Well, both male for one thing. From what I hear of Agent Hopkins he's a very bright man, went to Yale, top of his class. All those kinds of things. I'm not sure of which unit he works for. He's in his 30's if I'm correct. Agent Kingsley however, I'm not that familiar with. He's new to the bureau, was in the Army, I think. He's in his early 40's."  
  
"Right, now, what happened after that?"  
  
"Well, Agents Kingsley and Hopkins ran off, Skinner is very scary when he's mad. But, red is his color. Anyway, we got to talking. He told me to make sure that Mulder got out of the office, I told him I would. Then Hopkins came back round. Skinner yelled at him, and needless to say, Hopkins hit on him, though it was strictly strategically. Skinner ran down the hall screaming very girlishly, if you ask me. Anywho, Hopkins and I had a brief conversation before going our separate ways. Hopkins to Agent Robertson's office and I to mine and Mulder's. Anyway, I finally managed to drag him away from the computer where he was playing 'The Sims' and we went out for Chinese. He paid, of course."  
  
"Does he always pay?"  
  
"Most of the time. He is, of course, the male."  
  
The doctor replied with a "hmm" and wrote something in a spiral-notebook. "Continue."  
  
"That was it for Friday. Yesterday we went shopping. We went a bit later than planned, though. Mulder came over with this sickening pink shirt on. I told him that there was no chance he'd come over--or get laid for that matter--"  
  
"Get laid?"  
  
"Well, yes. Mulder has been complaining about his sex life--or lack there of, for quite some time. And, I got quite annoyed. Of course. Nobody likes to hear ramblings like that, especially not from him. Anyway, I got fed up and told him that if he really wanted to get laid THAT badly, all he had to do was ask. Then, there was no getting out of it. Though, it is Mulder. He's gorgeous, why would I want to?"  
  
"Did you want to get out of it?"  
  
"Strangely, yes. Not too sure why, though. I think it's because Dana is gone and it's taking a little getting used to, living without her that is. I don't have my confidant anymore, she helped me make decisions. It's very hard."  
  
"I can imagine. Now, when you went shopping what happened?"  
  
"The first shop we went to was a big no-no, we really shouldn't have gone in there, I mean, the name of the shop said it all."  
  
"And, that name was?"  
  
"'The Fruity Shoppe', Doc. I mean, if that wasn't a red light, I don't know what was. And, if that didn't defer me, then the purple shirt should have been the next sign. That, was way to girlish for a men's clothing store. I mean, I know Mulder's worn pink before, but purple? That's just down right insane. Then the sales clerk that came over to "help" us was checking Mulder out! My Mulder, he was checking MY Mulder out! Can you believe that? I mean, that's insane! Mulder is MINE, he is a no-touch zone. And, that clerks eyes roamed way to much for my comfort. So, I told him that he needed to back off, not to even think about it, fruitcake, he's mine. And he was like 'oh no you didn't', so I said 'oh yes I did, what are you going to do about it, girlyman?' Then he called me a bitch! Can you believe that."  
  
Doc's head shook from left to right, then back to the left.  
  
"I know! So, then he lunged at me, but my FBI training kept me on my toes, I jumped out of the way. He went flying into none other than Diana! It was so great! Mulder and I snuck out the back door after that. Then we went and did more shopping, and at the last store we went to that little fruitcake had followed us. Diana too! He tried to get friendly with Mulder again, and well, we kind of got into another verbal argument, wasn't my fault though! I was merely marking my territory. Staking my claim. Mulder is MINE! M.I.N.E MINE! Not some little fruits. And of course, the chicken shit lunged at me. Again, no less! But, he went flying into Diana again, that was great. So, then we went to my house and ordered take-out. That was about it, for this weekend anyway."  
  
Doc nodded, "that'll be 10 dollars, Agent Scully."  
  
"10 dollars!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That's bull, how long have I been here?"  
  
"4 hours."  
  
"Oh." She took out her wallet and handed the Doc the 10 dollars."  
  
"Next week, same time?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. See you then Doc."  
  
The she left and Dr. Rach was once again happy, 10 dollars is a lot for one session, after all.  
  
Scully was on her way home when Celle (her cell-phone) rang. She picked her up, "Scully."  
  
"Hey, Scully. It's me."  
  
"Hey, Mulder. What do you want?"  
  
"Well, we've got a case."  
  
"Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's something dumb."  
  
"Well…"  
  
"Oh, Mulder, when are you going to stop being so stupid!"  
  
"Who you callin' stupid? I'm not the one who's stupid, you're the one who's stupid, stupid."  
  
"Mulder!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Stop that. What's the case about?"  
  
"Oh. Sorry, I get a little carried away."

"You think? So, about this case. What kind is it?"

"You know, just another alien abduction case."  
  
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a/n: and we're off. But, the flight's going to be delayed for, oh, about a month. I'm not going to be returning from my vacation until after July 4th weekend. You'll just have to wait until then to get the first chapter of Just Another: Useless Alien Abduction Case. Part 3 in my series of I don't know how many Just Another's:. Anyway. Tell me 'bout it.


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